I can’t stand me

halloween

I can’t me…..

when my ego runs wild, doing it’s best to convince me of all the ways I am broken, lost, damage, no good, not worthy.  Feeding my fears, insecurity by insecurity.  Unrelentless judgment (of everyone and everything) Ridicule.  Shame and guilt.  She’s can be cruel and heartless.  The constant reminders of all the reasons why I must do and be and on and on she goes…

That’s when I can’t stand me.

Want more?  Check out the Daily Post

Self forgiveness

Day 6
Self Forgiveness
I use to hate myself
Every little mistake became another brick in my wall
Another dirty secret
Another bone to the closet
Another reason why I was unworthy of love
I held onto everything
Every little wrong to someone else
Something I said or didn’t say
Something I did or didn’t do
Day after day
Entering the ring
Only to be knocked out
Cold
Alone
Afraid
I wore my guilt like a warm furry winter coat
Until one day
The burden became too great
I couldn’t walk
Or look people in the eyes
I cowered
I lowered my head
I was the door mat
An unlovable lump
Until I could carry my burden no more
I screamed
I cried
I sought help
I released
I forgive myself
And learned how to love myself
anew

Video

Shame- Therapy Thursday

Last night I watched the following Brene Brown video on shame.  I am always saddened by how many people carry their shame around with them.  Afraid to name it or discuss it.  At one point in my life I allowed my shame to eat me alive (literally, I suffered from bulimia, anorexia and over exercising), it ruled my life.  Instead of dealing with the issues around my shame, I avoided it and sunk deeper.  Shame was only a piece of the complex issues of my mental health, which was an accumulation of several factors.  Thankfully, I did a lot of work on me, it wasn’t over night, or a quick fix.  But with each therapist, each class, each new friend or book.  I grew and got better.

What do you think about Brene Brown’s video and do you carry shame with you?  If you carry shame I hope that you find a way to release it.  Either with a therapist, counselor or trusted friend.  Even blogging.  Life is too short to let shame dictate your actions.

And remember you are not alone!  Help is always a call, email, text away!