Little lost goth girl

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Little lost goth girl

Drowning in her hair

Swallowed by the black

Held by the harsh guitar sounds and banging drums

Seen in her drawings

Come to me, inspire me, allow me to see, to be and recreate

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Hurried

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In the hurried frazzledness of life

The constant state of motion

Never stopping

Always going

I miss the sunrise

The sunset

The sun and wind against my skin

I am caught in the trap of living

Forgetting that I am in fact alive

Always moving

Always running

Afraid to stop

Afraid to feel

There is safety in movement

It’s time to be still

And to be again

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Waiting- part of the very short story series

Her hands were sweaty. Her heart raced. Her stomach turned its empty contents. Her thoughts spun a million magnificent webs, none of which reflected rays of reality. There she sat, staring out the window. Questioning herself. Doubting herself. Fingers tapping the table. Legs bouncing. Watching the people rush by. Wishing at this moment, she could be one of them. One of the million people hurrying elsewhere. She wanted to be anywhere but here. She felt sick. Her empty stomach revolting. The feelings crawling up into her throat. Was the bathroom close? Swallowing it all down. Waiting and wishing she had said no.

Layer- another very short story (part of a series)

Not sure where I am going with these series of very short story writing and if I can somehow weave them together.  Guess we will see.

Layer upon layer. Hidden beneath her protective armor. Looking down. Staring at the ground. Never looking up. Never making eye contact. Avoiding. Shrinking. Slowly fading into the scenery. The thousand other faces bleeding together. Caught in the tide of society, the emotionless waves of people moving. Oblivious. Lost souls. Together they were nothing. Invisible just how she longed to be.

They are alive

“I am telling you, you have to believe me.  Listen to me!  They are alive.  They are waiting.  Please!”

No one ever listened to her.  Noticed her.  Cared for her.

On this night.  This dark and dreary, rain soaked night.  Water puddling around her ankles, she pleaded with the rush of people running here and there.  She tugged on their coats, grabbed at their ankles.  They didn’t notice.  They rushed with their umbrellas, their papers, their heads covered.  They rushed, pushing and hurrying.  The only thing on their minds was getting out of the rain.

She knew the rain was just the beginning.  But as usual no one saw her.  No one cared.  They just rushed by.  Lost and oblivious.

Living Dream

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The room starts to spin

images come alive

I close my eyes

Melt into the music

Tones breath

I taste the textures

Smell the vibrancy

Even in my mind

the world is spinning

Images come alive

imagination runs wild

lines blurred

crossed

no sense of reality or dream

I live in both worlds

merged into one

my reality imagination

dream reality

doesn’t matter

what i see

feel

hear

experience

real or imagined

it’s all the same

breathing

bleeding

alive

Hand in the Ground

overload

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Today of all days I wish I felt numb

experienced nothing

no emotion

no feelings

nothingness

but i don’t

i feel everything

amplified

I need a surge protector

to block

to protect

the bombardment of emotion flooding me

And in this tsunami

i can’t find the ground

or embrace reality

out of touch and overwhelmed

the anesthesia has worn off

I am naked

exposed

and vulnerable

be gentle

for this soul is breaking

it’s cracking

my cocoon wide open

butterfly

My shadow

night walk

What lurks behind me?
Deep inside?
Those pieces I thought I buried
Left in the hills
In my childhood house
Hid away in the closet
What creeps in the corners of my consciousness?
Just out of view, so I just can’t see
What is that I hid from?
Run from?
Pretend doesn’t exist
What skeletons?
What monsters?
Do I dare not unleash
Free from the cages in my mind
Locked away
Threw the key in the lake, tied it down with a brick
You’ll never know
I’ll never tell
Safer for me and safer for you
If you never know
Never touched
Never saw
my shadow

keeper of my secrets

of that which I refuse to accept

to know

the dark pieces of me

buried deep inside

don’t ask them to come out and play

shadows lurk

Falling

water

And I’m stuck.

Trying to write.

Trying to create.

My head swims and I fade out.

Into the dark.

Into the void.

Into the ego.

The tired. Into my mind.

Swimming in my thoughts.

My ideas.

I can’t catch a raft.

I’m losing air.

I’m losing my grip.

Why does it have to be this way?

Why can’t dive in?

Why can’t I trust?

Why must I fight?

Why must I struggle?

I am fading.

I am losing.

I am…..

I am falling.

Darkness swallows.

Ego fails.

And I am left alone.

Me and my muse.

Me and the void.

Left to create.

Left to swim.

Release.

Stop fighting.

Fall and be free.