And I am feeling lost. Staring at my computer. The words have left, taken their ball and gone home. And here I sit and stare. This is nothing new. All writers know this. And I feel the push, the drive to create something brilliant and insecurity that simmers under the surface saying, “it will be crap.” And so I sit and stare. Lost in my circle. Create. I can’t. I have to. It’ll suck. Time slowly ticking. And I sit and stare. All the characters that I danced with yesterday, even during breakfast, have moved on with their day, gone to their jobs, met their lovers at seedy hotels, boarded airplanes for paradise. And I sit and stare. Tick tock goes the clock. Eyes fade and the screen is a blur of white like staring into the sun. Trying to fight time, like a boxer trying to get the last punch in before the bell. Trying to find inspiration, like an artist sees the world. I look over my outlines. Over my ideas. My list of projects. And nothing comes. Time has stopped like watching the clock on the last of day of school before summer vacation. Eternity has set in. My mind wanders like a leaf in the wind. My creative gone and forgotten like a prisoner on death row. So, I sit and stare. Force myself to wait. To be patient. Like a child waiting for mailman. Like a dog waiting for dinner. Like people waiting for the bus. I know it will come. I just have to wait. Patiently.
I don’t know about you but fear and insecurity seem to be a huge hump in my life. I continually find myself bumping up against them. I also have been finding fear coming up for the people around me. I love how the universe is master at reflecting back to us where we need to do work on ourselves to help others. Here are some tips I have learned along the way to help with fear.
You have to acknowledge it. Sometimes, even this step is scary and hard. But fear isn’t going anywhere until you acknowledge it. The fear is here to tell you something. It’s here for a reason. Trust its timing.
Where is the fear in your body? Take time to feel where you are holding it. I tend to hold fear in my neck, shoulders and stomach.
Breathe into that space with love and compassion. Take your time. Take deep loving breathes into that space. If needed ground yourself first.
Start asking the fear questions
What does it want?
What’s its message/purpose?
Get clear and specific on what exactly the fear is trying to tell you. (For some meditation helps here, don’t censor any images, thoughts, feelings, beliefs that come to you. Let them come to you.)
Listen with compassion. Don’t judge your fear; just let it tell you what’s going on.
Work with the fear.
What can you do to ease the fear?
What makes the fear feel okay?
Give examples of people who have what you want.
What have you learned from your fear, what insight have you gained and what do you now understand about your fear?
How can you affirm and remember what you have learned to be true and possible? (Quotes are great. As well as, affirmations, remember with affirmations you have to believe them. If you don’t believe it when you say your affirmation work with it until it feels believable. Take from what your fear said would make it feel okay.)
Thank your fear.
Example: Suzie is a writer who is terrified of rejection so she never shares her writing, keeping it locked away. She wants more than anything to be a successful writer. Here are the steps in actions.
First she accepts that she is afraid.
Suzie feels the fear in her stomach, like she is going to throw up at the thought of someone reading her work and saying something bad about it.
Suzie sits for a moment and breathes into the her stomach. Sending it compassion and love.
Next she gets clarity. She asks her fear what do you want, what’s your message, your purpose.
Her fear tells her that it is afraid that people who read her work won’t like it and that means they won’t like her. Furthermore her fear tells her that if people don’t like her writing she is no good and worthless. Her dream of being a bestselling author is over.
Suzie listens to her fear, she doesn’t stop it. She just listens.
Suzie asks her fear what can she do to help her fear, ease her fear and make the fear feel okay.
Listening Suzie fears tells her to go slowly. Start by sharing her work with trusted friends and family. Then if they like it to move to a blog or writing group.
Next Suzie finds writers who have what she wants. People who are making a living at writing.
Suzie reflects on her fear and learns that she is afraid of being judged and rejected.
Suzie finds quotes that support her dream of being a writer. As well as, writing a couple of affirmations that she believes to help her. I am worthy (I create myself worth, not the opinions of others). I am a writer.