Home of my Shadow

water

I have wrestled with this blog.  Her purpose.  For you see it has changed.  It started as a venue for me to stretch and grow as a writer, which she still is.  However, I realize this blog is the home of my shadow.

Here dwells my darkness.  My fears.  Insecurities.  The things I hid under the floor board or tuck away in the closet.

Here my demons are allowed to run free.  To create chaos.  To be seen and heard.

Here lives my shadow, free to express it’s self.  To be part of me.

Here I am whole.

Ode to a friend

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I have this friend, she was like my sister

From lifetimes ago

Our relationship dwindled

Miles and people separated us

And still to this day

I love her

I miss her

Sick and twisted

Right or wrong

We were in it together

Until I realized that I could no longer feed my sickness

Feed her sickness

Our sicknesses fed off of each other

Poisoning us and everything around us

And despite everything

The hurt feelings

The broken hearts

The pain

I still love her

I still miss her

Because she stepped into my darkness

And I her’s

And we still loved each other

Now forced conversation

Walls built high

A longing to go there

Be there

And a knowing of the disaster it brings

And in my heart

I long to see her happy

To see her at peace

I have found my peace

and

I have found my happiness without her

Something I never imagined

Hopefully someday

She can join me

Beat her demons

Step into the light

And when I see her

And briefly talk with her

A piece of me

Longs

Wishes

To step back into the darkness

To be swept away by the crazy

To be in that place again

And so I extend my hand

Invite her in

Not knowing will I stay sane or go crazy again

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whisper part 2

It was like a long lost friend. This whisper. The whisper that promised her the world. How could she refuse. The years of suffering. The years of pain. It promised her the one thing she couldn’t achieve on her own. Relief. She dreamt of relief. Contemplated suicide. A way out. She hated herself for being too weak to take easy way out. She lived with her demons. They never left her. And now, there was a whisper of hope. An escape. Anything to get away from the way she felt.

Tired of numbing the pain. Hiding from it was futile. It always caught her.

The Dance part 2

Write Yourself Alive prompt: Sensory description, illustrate aliveness
Reflecting
Like pools of water
methodical
Quiet and unassuming
All the while
A war rages within
The thoughts
Consuming
Destruction
Lead taste lingers on the lips
Unquenchable thirst
Dry mouth
Fair skinned
Day walker
Each day heart racing
As if it might explode out of her chest
Deep breaths, deep breaths
Racing thoughts
Quitting the demons
Scratching beneath the surface
Anxious to play
Light filters in
Warm and refreshing
Angels waiting
Excited
Doesn’t matter
Angels or demons
Good or bad
It’s all the same
They dance behind locked doors
hand in hand
together
No one ever knew
Calm, reflective eyes

Fallen- The Hounds

Another poem from the book of prose I am working on about Angels and Demons working together to wipe out the human race.

The Hounds

Dismissed and mistreated

The lost dogs of the world

Running wild and free

Scavengers

Mangy and dirty

A group of men huddled around a fire in an alley

Or under a by pass

Dismissed and mistreated

Lost souls of the world

Running wild and free

Scavengers

Mangy and dirty

Your Demons

Shadows

You are consumed by your demons
To blind to see the plague that eats at your soul
To afraid to name them, to know them
You run
You hid
You are cruel in your haze
Vision clouded by false truths and you’re inability to wade through the shadows
I learned long ago
To make peace with my shadow
And friends with my demons
No longer their puppet
They are my muses
You, on the other hand
Use them for an excuse for your poor behavior
For you inhuman actions and your selfishness
Forever reaching and grasping
For something that does not exist
Looking to others
Abuse and mistreatment
False courage while you crawl away
I will not bless you with my pity
I will not play your games
All you had to do was turn around
Call your demons by name
Ask them to play
Instead of trying to give them away
No you are lost
Consumed by your misery, unhappiness and insecurities
Blaming everyone but yourself
There you sit
Eternally alone