Home of my Shadow

water

I have wrestled with this blog.  Her purpose.  For you see it has changed.  It started as a venue for me to stretch and grow as a writer, which she still is.  However, I realize this blog is the home of my shadow.

Here dwells my darkness.  My fears.  Insecurities.  The things I hid under the floor board or tuck away in the closet.

Here my demons are allowed to run free.  To create chaos.  To be seen and heard.

Here lives my shadow, free to express it’s self.  To be part of me.

Here I am whole.

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Committing

stairs

Today is the first day, another beginning.  Another way we (I) find myself committing to a list of to do’s, goals, aspirations and intentions.  And sometime along the way, I get lost.  I forget.  Get to busy living life.  Yet, I am not really living am I.  I get too busy going through the motions and forget everything I mapped to accomplish.  I want to say this year is different.  That I have a system in place.  That feels clique. Old.  Warn out.  As if I have heard it before.  Because I have.  That is not going to stop me.  I am committing.  Committing to writing.  To creating.  To making a difference.  One day at a time.  One step at time.  Here’s to new starts.  Here’s to hope!

What will you commit to doing this year?

They are alive

“I am telling you, you have to believe me.  Listen to me!  They are alive.  They are waiting.  Please!”

No one ever listened to her.  Noticed her.  Cared for her.

On this night.  This dark and dreary, rain soaked night.  Water puddling around her ankles, she pleaded with the rush of people running here and there.  She tugged on their coats, grabbed at their ankles.  They didn’t notice.  They rushed with their umbrellas, their papers, their heads covered.  They rushed, pushing and hurrying.  The only thing on their minds was getting out of the rain.

She knew the rain was just the beginning.  But as usual no one saw her.  No one cared.  They just rushed by.  Lost and oblivious.

Falling

water

And I’m stuck.

Trying to write.

Trying to create.

My head swims and I fade out.

Into the dark.

Into the void.

Into the ego.

The tired. Into my mind.

Swimming in my thoughts.

My ideas.

I can’t catch a raft.

I’m losing air.

I’m losing my grip.

Why does it have to be this way?

Why can’t dive in?

Why can’t I trust?

Why must I fight?

Why must I struggle?

I am fading.

I am losing.

I am…..

I am falling.

Darkness swallows.

Ego fails.

And I am left alone.

Me and my muse.

Me and the void.

Left to create.

Left to swim.

Release.

Stop fighting.

Fall and be free.