bio?

As some of you know, when I am not writing, I am a therapist.  I have been contemplating changing my about page on my therapist site, let me know what you think.  Thank you!

You want know I can relate. That I get it, I understand you and your story. Everyone’s stories are different. And at anytime you have the power to rewrite it, how exciting is that? So, here is my story. I hope it helps you on your journey.

I have been sensitive to others moods and emotions since for as long as I can remember. My mom says that she knew ever since I was small I would be a therapist. I had a knack for it. For what felt like forever I confused my feelings with others feelings. I readily took responsibility for others emotions, actions, emotings and projections. Adding to that unpredictable parental moods, created an anxious child. Anxiety would be become a constant companion, for several years.

As a really small child I talked to dead people, mainly my paternal grandmother who haunted my childhood house. I also had an extremely vivid and wild imagination. I loved creating and playing pretend. As I grew, I learned talking to dead people, knowing things in a psychic manner, and being highly imaginative wasn’t very cool, and thus I suppressed it.

My parents did the best they could with the skills they had. However, their childhoods’ were tragic and dysfunctional. Interesting how the wounds of parents transfer to their children.

After my parental grandfather died when I was in the fourth grade, I began my relationship with depression.

When I was 12, my parents divorced after 20 years of marriage. Unable to cope and struggling with depression, anxiety, and puberty, I turned to food to deal. I went from 5 foot nothing and 90 pounds to close to 200 pounds. Towards the end of high school, my eating disorder morphed from binge eating to bulimia and from bulimia to a mix of anorexia, bulimia and over exercising. The only relief I gave myself was pregnancy. I loved being pregnant, it gave me an excuse to eat, not to exercise, not to starve and not to purge. When my daughter was two years old, my eating disorder once again was in full swing, I went through cycles of binging, purging, starving and exercised on average 2 hours a day. Until, one day, I was purging and started to choke. I couldn’t breathe and all I keep thinking was my daughter is in the other room, she is going to find me dead and grow up motherless. I knew at that moment things had to change. Thus began my road to recovery.

Even though, I wasn’t engaging in eating disorder behaviors, I still struggled with self esteem and coping with emotions. I turned to others to dictate how I should be. Entering bad relationship after bad relationship. Finally it all came crashing down, when my dad died, I could no longer pretend I was happy. Again, I sought help. Trying to rebuild my life and who I wanted to be.

I have seen several therapists. Each providing me with massive healing, tools and self awareness. However, I still felt something was missing. I began to work with a shaman and other alternative therapies and found that my healing expanded and I gained insight into me on a soul level. I rediscovered who I was on a soul level! I was able to rekindle gifts, release massive guilt, resentment and anger, and most importantly develop love for myself. Leading me to where I am today, as a therapist. I am a registered psychotherapist with certificates in Child and Adolescent Counseling and Transpersonal Counseling. I have my MA in counseling from Regis. I love incorporating several modalities in therapy. From tradition talk therapy to shamanism, to intuition to art and play. I believe healing is a journey, an adventure just like life. Therapy is expanding and transformative.

I am here because I care. Because I want you to love yourself and feel amazing. I want for you to feel wonderful in your skin, speak from your heart, and shine! To transform your life, to heal and rediscover you, on a soul level. That is why I became I therapist because I love people and I want to help people just like you heal and rediscover your awesomeness!

New Year and resolutions! Therapy Thursday

Happy New Years!

It’s that time of year, we make promises to ourselves.  Some of us make promises on how we plan to improve our lives, others make a list of goals.  How many of us actually achieve our New Year’s Resolutions?

I don’t think keeping resolutions necessarily matter.  I think that we make resolutions because we want to achieve or fix areas of our lives.  Resolutions force us to re-evaluate our lives, our directions and purpose.  Resolutions start the ball rolling of personal growth and development.

So, you are serious about achieving your goals this year.  Set yourself up to succeed.  Here’s what you can do.  Break your resolutions down into do-able pieces. Break your resolution down into steps.  For example weight lose, 1. talk to doctor, 2. find dietitian, 3. join gym, 4. go to gym once a week build up to five times a week, 5. take a class- yoga, dance, spin, 6. seek support from friends and family, 6. find therapist and make an appointment.

Perhaps you want to change careers.  Break it down.  Find your passion.  Invest in yourself.  Take a class or two.  Read a couple books.  And again, see a therapist, they are there to help you get through your stuck points.

Therapy Thursdays- Mad World

I can feel the energy pulsing through my body.  I feel sick.  Shaky. My body knew the verdict before my brain.  That sense that something is wrong, off in the world, dread.  I wish I had the answers, I don’t.  I just know what we are doing isn’t working.

I was deeply saddened by the Michael Brown verdict.  I don’t have all the facts.  I can’t judge, I wasn’t there.

When events in our nation happen we want to make sense of them.  Understand it.  Easy the unrest in our minds and bodies.  Some of us, clam up, retreat further inward.  Some of us, lash out.  Looking to be heard, seen and felt.  And some of us, see this as an opportunity good or bad to help others, society and yes, some of us, to help ourselves.  Events like this bring out the best and worse in people.

We as a society are hurting.  We are sick physically, mentally and emotional.  I hate this.  I want us all to be healthy and happy.

What can you do?  You can be an advocate for a better society.  A society based on love and not judgment.  I realize I am asking a lot.  We as a society have a long way to go.  I truly believe that if each of us, does something, we can create change.  I am asking you to:

  1. Love yourself.You deserve your love and respect.  When you love you, it’s easier to love others.  Accept yourself, good, bad, flaws and all.  We are all flawed people.  Love and relish all of you.  Because you might know it now, but you are truly amazing person!
  2. Stop judging.Starting with yourself.   Stop comparing yourself to others.  You are you, no one else has your life, your experiences, your circumstances.  Yes, we share similar events and experiences, but we all experience things differently based on several factors, such as family history, genetics, disposition, attitude, socio economics and more.

Stop judging others.  You are not them.   You can create a story on why people do what they do, but in the end, it’s a story and you don’t have all the facts.  Creating stories to understand others actions helps us feel better, but it’s still just a story.  Just like, you can speculate.  Walk a mile in their shoes.  But still you don’t know.

REMEMBER: You are magnificent!  Let yourself be human.

  1. Share the love.Pay it forward.  Do something nice for someone, anyone, the planet, nature, animals.  Volunteer, pay for someone’s lunch or coffee, donate time, money, clothing, food.  Rake a neighbor’s leaves or shovel their snow.  Acts of kindness create good feelings and vibes.

Together we can create a better world, society and planet.

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Therapy Thursday- Pep Talk!

Grand Canyon, Az

I hate insecurity. I really do. That little voice that stops us from pursuing our dreams. That voice that keeps us stuck. The voice of the ego. Reminding us of everything we are not. And most of us listen. Give it credit. It is our voice after all. It knows, right? Does it really? What would happen if you ignored that voice? Stopped listening? Stepped out of the darkness into the light? Stepping into who you were meant to be is scary. No, terrifying. You feel on display. Judging yourself before others can judge you. Beating them to the punch. Why? Are you not beautiful? Do you not deserve to shine? You have a gift. You are special and the world is waiting for you. Stop listening to that voice. Listen to your heart. Your soul. Listen. And follow. We are waiting for you! And yes, you can do this. You are magnificent!

Rejected Revenge and Therapy Thursday?

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I have been working on my first novel, Rejected Revenge.  What does that have to do with therapy Thursday?  A lot actually.  You see, I got the idea for Rejected Revenge working with developmentally disabled adults.  Talk about stigmas.  People constantly judging them, misunderstanding them, treating them as if they are diseased.  Whereas, I have never met a more loving, genuine group of people than the developmentally disabled adults I have had the privilege to work with.  Yes, there are few unhappy or grouchy ones but when I walk in their shoes, I would be too.  That is what sparked Rejected Revenge.  After hearing horror story after horror story and seeing first hand the judgement, shunning and over all poor treatment developmentally disabled people face.  I thought, what if they got sick and tired of how people, society, and the world treated them.  What if one day they just said enough is enough and sought their revenge for years of abuse and mistreatment.

Therapy Thursdays- A regular feature

voodoo doll

Hello dear readers,

I am hoping to cover all things mental health and well being related on Thursdays.  No, not all at once but a different topic each week.  I am hoping to spark conversation and well as a movement towards acceptance of all people regardless of their diagnoses or struggles.  In the end, we are all human.  We all share this planet.  And we all struggle.

I will share some of my stories and hope to hear yours as well.  Furthermore, I hope to provide insight, inspiration and a few tips.

Please feel free to comment, jump and and share your voice!