A letter to the depressed, sad and suicidal

There are times in your life where you are going to feel like you just can’t take anymore. That you just want to stop the pain. End it because it feels like it is never going to stop, that it is just going to keep coming. The voices in your head that tell you- You are worthless, that no cares, that the world would be better off without, that you deserve your pain, and on and on. Those voices are wrong. You are worthy, you are beautiful, I care, the world needs you (really it does, there is only one you who does what you do) you matter, your life matters, you will be missed, even if right now you feel desperately alone, you are not, people love you wither you realize it or not. You just have to make it through this moment, this moment that feels like you are dropped below rock bottom. This moment that you feel the weight of the world suffocating you. This moment is going to pass, that is the beautiful thing about time, it passes and you my friend just have to make it through this moment.

My friend, I may not know you and that really doesn’t matter. Because I have loved people that feel that way you do. And I want to remind you that you matter! That you are loved! You are worthy! And you can make it through this!

To help ease these moments where you feel like you just can’t go on you can try the following:

Stop!  Yes, stop!  Silence the voices, if only for a minute.  Focus on your breath.  Breathe in and and out slowly.  Feel the air enter and exit your body.  Imagine that this air is nurturing and loving you in all the ways you need right now.

Turn on your favorite music, the music that makes you smile and makes you move. Feel the music in your bones. Let it sweep you away. Dance!

Grab pen and paper, crayons, markers and start writing all the thing that make you matter, all the compliments you’ve received, don’t censor yourself. Write all the things that make you great, all the things you like about you, others like about you. Let them flow. Not feeling them? They are there, dig! Don’t fight them or stop them, don’t argue with them. Let these words speak to your heart about how truly awesome you are.

Make your favorite soul comforting food and savor it.

Call a friend.

Call the suicide hot line-http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

or chat with someone at http://hopeline.com/

Watch your favorite show.

Take a bath.

And if still you struggle find a therapist, call 911 or go to the hospital because you matter!

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Therapy Thursday- Change

I have been absent far too long.  Lost in a sea of transition.  The galactic energies at play rock me in the sea of life as I am tossed and turned.  I am restless and tired.  I am growing and expanding.  Do my best to release that which no longer serves me, that which on some level I still cling to.  Fear, doubt, guilt.  Looking to the pile of paperwork on my desk.  I have no ambition to tackle it.  I want to be anywhere but here.  I couple more months.  A couple more months and I take the leap.  I am ready for change.  I have been stagnate for far too long.

Can you feel the change in the air?  Feel the restlessness?  Hear the call to step into your life’s purpose?  How can you embrace these ever changing times?

Make time for yourself.  Create rituals that allow you to step out the craziness of your day to day.  Give yourself space.  Meditate.  Journal.  Dance.  Yoga. Walk.  Do something that allows you to slow down and reconnect to yourself, your soul and your body.  Give yourself permission to release that which no longer serves you.  Each and every day.  Take time just for you.  If you can do this in nature all the better.

How to handle change?  If you are feeling the energy shifts, how are you handling it?

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Shame- Therapy Thursday

Last night I watched the following Brene Brown video on shame.  I am always saddened by how many people carry their shame around with them.  Afraid to name it or discuss it.  At one point in my life I allowed my shame to eat me alive (literally, I suffered from bulimia, anorexia and over exercising), it ruled my life.  Instead of dealing with the issues around my shame, I avoided it and sunk deeper.  Shame was only a piece of the complex issues of my mental health, which was an accumulation of several factors.  Thankfully, I did a lot of work on me, it wasn’t over night, or a quick fix.  But with each therapist, each class, each new friend or book.  I grew and got better.

What do you think about Brene Brown’s video and do you carry shame with you?  If you carry shame I hope that you find a way to release it.  Either with a therapist, counselor or trusted friend.  Even blogging.  Life is too short to let shame dictate your actions.

And remember you are not alone!  Help is always a call, email, text away!

New Year and resolutions! Therapy Thursday

Happy New Years!

It’s that time of year, we make promises to ourselves.  Some of us make promises on how we plan to improve our lives, others make a list of goals.  How many of us actually achieve our New Year’s Resolutions?

I don’t think keeping resolutions necessarily matter.  I think that we make resolutions because we want to achieve or fix areas of our lives.  Resolutions force us to re-evaluate our lives, our directions and purpose.  Resolutions start the ball rolling of personal growth and development.

So, you are serious about achieving your goals this year.  Set yourself up to succeed.  Here’s what you can do.  Break your resolutions down into do-able pieces. Break your resolution down into steps.  For example weight lose, 1. talk to doctor, 2. find dietitian, 3. join gym, 4. go to gym once a week build up to five times a week, 5. take a class- yoga, dance, spin, 6. seek support from friends and family, 6. find therapist and make an appointment.

Perhaps you want to change careers.  Break it down.  Find your passion.  Invest in yourself.  Take a class or two.  Read a couple books.  And again, see a therapist, they are there to help you get through your stuck points.

Are we ever going to slow down? Therapy Thursday

Maybe I’m just getting old.  As I kid, I LOVED the holidays.  The feeling of community and connection in the air.  Everyone seemed happier and friendlier.  Now, it seems everyone is in a hurry to get somewhere.  Everyone seems agitated and grumpy.  Just in the commute to work, people speeding by, cutting others off.  Road rage.  Why are we in such a hurry?  If anything our rush rush attitude is making us sick.  We eat fast food, to busy to cook.  We hurry important moments to get to the next place.  Why?  We all know where we are heading in the end.  It’s not like we are rushing to get there first.  Are we?  Okay, I can see being in hurry to cram all the million things we want to accomplish in this lifetime in, or check off some bucket list items. I get that.  But in the process are we enjoying these moments?  People are miserable.  I think it’s at an all time high.  People exude unhappiness.  Obviously the rush rush attitude is getting us closer to the grave, as we cram our schedules full of must do’s.  What happen to doing what you love, trusting that everything will work out?  With that said, I have decided that 2015, is the year of the Plan B.  That means, I am going to slow down.  Enjoy what brings me pleasure in life; friends, family, art, nature.  I am going to pursue what I know I am good at and enjoy doing, writing and providing therapy.  I am going to stop pushing myself to live the life that I think I am suppose to live and live the life I want to.  Whose with me?

The pictures I choose hopefully will remind you to:

1. Stop and enjoy the moments in life, because in the end life is just a series of moments, make them special.

2. Follow your happiness, embrace it and let it shine.

3. Let your inner light shine, be proud of who you are, you are amazing!

4. Bloom where you are planted.  You’ve got this!

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Therapy Thursday- Pep Talk!

Grand Canyon, Az

I hate insecurity. I really do. That little voice that stops us from pursuing our dreams. That voice that keeps us stuck. The voice of the ego. Reminding us of everything we are not. And most of us listen. Give it credit. It is our voice after all. It knows, right? Does it really? What would happen if you ignored that voice? Stopped listening? Stepped out of the darkness into the light? Stepping into who you were meant to be is scary. No, terrifying. You feel on display. Judging yourself before others can judge you. Beating them to the punch. Why? Are you not beautiful? Do you not deserve to shine? You have a gift. You are special and the world is waiting for you. Stop listening to that voice. Listen to your heart. Your soul. Listen. And follow. We are waiting for you! And yes, you can do this. You are magnificent!

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Therapy Thursday- Negativity

Candle Light

I was ready to jump in a tackle the big issues about mental health stigma, diagnoses and common mental health issues most of us deal with on a daily basis. However, as I sat down to write this, I realized that my week had been plagued by a much subtler mental health dilemma- NEGATIVITY. Most people don’t think of negativity as a mental health issue, but it is. A negative attitude affects your life, and your well being, as well as, the people around you.

I don’t know about you but negativity seems to be running rampant like a zombie outbreak. Everywhere I go I come across people with an unhappy expression on their faces. They are constantly in a hurry. Constantly struggling with one issue or another. These people also tend to complain, a lot. If they aren’t complaining, they are gossiping. Furthermore, many of them oblivious to their surrounds, as they emit their toxic pollution into the world.

Negative people tend to affect other people. Have you ever noticed that you were in a great mood, happy, energetic when you met friend for coffee, who was having a bad day. After an hour or so of conversation you leave feeling drained, unhappy and now grouchy.

We are naturally empathic creatures. We do much of our communication through non verbals. So, while you are sitting there with your friend, you are picking up on her or his energy, their subtle cues of negativity.

Great news! There are a few simple steps to help you ward off negativity.
1. Set the intention when in public not to be affected by others’ negativity. As well as, set a daily intention to be positive and not let the negativity get to you.
2. Don’t fall pray negativity traps. Complaining, griping and gossiping.
3. Look for the beauty. Find the beauty. Relish and cherish the beauty.
4. Check yourself. Make sure the negativity isn’t you. It happens. We all have bad days. If it’s you. It’s okay. Give yourself some much needed TLC.
5. Look for the positive. Those people who let their light shine and are a pleasure to be around. Find them and be with them. I love these people and no matter how much negativity comes to me, I can always find someone positive to be around. If you can’t find the positive people, be a positive person. I realize in some situations this is nearly impossible, that’s when you revert back to steps 1-3.
6. Share your light. Share your positivity and happiness.

If you still are struggling to shake off negativity or feel that there is a deeper issue. Seek out counsel with a therapist or counselor who can help you work through what is going on, get to the root and get you back to living the life you deserve. Because everyone deserves to be happy!
Please feel free to add what works for you when it comes to dealing with negativity. Thank you and have a beautiful day!

Therapy Thursdays- A regular feature

voodoo doll

Hello dear readers,

I am hoping to cover all things mental health and well being related on Thursdays.  No, not all at once but a different topic each week.  I am hoping to spark conversation and well as a movement towards acceptance of all people regardless of their diagnoses or struggles.  In the end, we are all human.  We all share this planet.  And we all struggle.

I will share some of my stories and hope to hear yours as well.  Furthermore, I hope to provide insight, inspiration and a few tips.

Please feel free to comment, jump and and share your voice!