Ode to a friend

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I have this friend, she was like my sister

From lifetimes ago

Our relationship dwindled

Miles and people separated us

And still to this day

I love her

I miss her

Sick and twisted

Right or wrong

We were in it together

Until I realized that I could no longer feed my sickness

Feed her sickness

Our sicknesses fed off of each other

Poisoning us and everything around us

And despite everything

The hurt feelings

The broken hearts

The pain

I still love her

I still miss her

Because she stepped into my darkness

And I herโ€™s

And we still loved each other

Now forced conversation

Walls built high

A longing to go there

Be there

And a knowing of the disaster it brings

And in my heart

I long to see her happy

To see her at peace

I have found my peace

and

I have found my happiness without her

Something I never imagined

Hopefully someday

She can join me

Beat her demons

Step into the light

And when I see her

And briefly talk with her

A piece of me

Longs

Wishes

To step back into the darkness

To be swept away by the crazy

To be in that place again

And so I extend my hand

Invite her in

Not knowing will I stay sane or go crazy again

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