Pain and illness

Write yourself alive prompt: Write about illness

The pain is excruciating. I wake up in the middle of the night crying. Curled up in a ball and praying that it just goes away. I’m weak and tired and yet I continue to lie to myself and anyone who listens that I am not sick. I have too much to do and I do not have time to get sick. Time to care for myself. I have a family. I have a career. I cannot slow down. So, I push on. And yet the pain lingers. It is never gone. Some days it just sits there like a minor annoyance. Other days it attacks me. Sharp stabbing pain. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I am slowly withering away. No, I am not sick. I am stressed. Lie after lie. Two months of denial. I am forced to go to the doctor. A promise to rest the minds of those who care. Yes, the doctor confirms  I am sick. But there is really nothing I can do but wait until a surgeon has time. It doesn’t matter, I have grown accustom to life like this.   Numb. Full of excuses. Even after the surgery I swear, I still get the pains, not as bad, but they still come. As if reminders that I need to care for myself. Listen to my body. Hear her wisdom. To stop ignoring her. For she has been with me forever. The wisest friend I have.

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