Dear Old Friend,
I heard the news today of your passing. I haven’t spoken to you since high school. So, many of us losing touch, pushed by a desire to escape our bad decisions and nightmares of adolescents.
I know nothing about your adult life. Who you grew up to be, family, friends. You were probably beautiful just a beautiful as you were when we were teenagers. Such an amazing soul, named after a star in the sky. I thought that was the coolest.
And yet, I feel an overwhelming sadness, as if a part of me has died too. A piece of my childhood, my innocents long lost. A small piece that still hung on, buried deep. A part of me, I was ashamed of. Hid and buried. Your death reminded me of that piece of my life. And that light also existed then. You and our friendship.
There were three of us, remember. Who hung around a group of thugs, unsavory people. Three of us, who use to cruise around. Looking for our place in the world. Looking to be accepted for who we were. Three lost souls.
What I remember most, is talking with you for hours. You always made me laugh. You accepted me for who I was. I felt good about myself when I was around you. I could be me. You didn’t use me for my car or lack of esteem. You weren’t fake to me. You were real. How could you be so real, as a teenager? Because you were a beautiful soul. You just accepted me for me.
Your passing reminds me that we never know how we will affect others. What gifts will be shared, given or received. And when we will realize the beauty of these gifts or that they were even given to begin with.
I hope your passing was painless. That you had a good and happy life. That you are at peace. And that we will meet again. I know we will. You have returned to the stars.
Thank you for the gifts you gave me, friendship (in a sea of shallow meaningless strings attached relationships), love (when I had none for myself) and acceptance (when I couldn’t even accept myself).