Horror Movie Survival

How could I refuse when Man Crates asked me to create my ultimate horror movie survival crate? Man Crates creates awesome crates for men, based on all things manly, zombie apocalypse, grilling and beer. Anyways, back to me and my totally awesome horror movie survival crate. My crate was created with one question in mind. The one question horror fans find themselves asking when watching horror movies, “What would I do?”

  1. I would need a backpack. I have to carry all my gear.
  2. I definitely need weapons and lots of them. In a horror movie you can never have enough weapons. I also want to be prepared for whatever horror is in store for me. Insane hillbillies, zombies, aliens, crazed killers, vampires, werewolves, ghosts, demons, you name it, I am ready.
  • I need a big serrated blade. I am here to survive, not to play nice. Killers are out to kill me, I don’t want to scratch them, I want to hurt them.
  • A pocket knife. Might not kill my assailant but it might stop them long enough for me to get away and formulate a plan.
  • And a couple more knifes a switch blade and a butterfly knife for starters. Victims can never seem to hold their knives. So, if I lose my knife I will be prepared with another one. Not only can a knife do damage to my assailant but it can also get me out of a tight spot. Also knives are great back up, in the worst case scenario that I run out of bullets. And in a horror movie, I will most likely at some point run out of bullets.
  • A gun with a silencer. The last thing I want to do is draw attention to myself by shooting a loud gun.
  • More guns, automatic and semi automatic preferable. And just for sentimental reasons a revolver, because revolvers are cool.
  • Silver bullets for any werewolves that might cross my path.
  • Lots of ammo. You can never have enough ammo. Never.
  1. A crowbar. Not only does this make a fabulous weapon but also a useful tool to break windows, pry stuff open and anything else I can think of in a jam.
  2. Brass knuckles just in case I lose my crowbar or gets stuck in a zombie’s head and I don’t have time to un-wedge it.
  3. A zippo, lighter fluid and a flint. You never know when you might need to start a fire, to protect yourself, a distraction or to keep warm.
  4. Glow sticks and flares. Flashlights, extra light bulbs and batteries. I am not going to be fumbling and running around the dark, only to trip, fall and be brutally killed. I am not going to crawl through some dark space and hope that I am safe.
  5. Solar lights to fend off any blood suckers.
  6. Map and compass. I am not going to be one of those idiots who gets lost and runs around in circles. That’s only asking to be killed.
  7. Warm clothes, a change of clothes and running shoes. You may laugh at this but how many people trip, slip and fall sealing their fate at the hands of the masked killer bent on revenge? How many victims are ill prepared for the long haul? I get cold easily and I like to be comfortable. So, kill me that I want don’t want to be running around in bloody, dirty and ripped clothes.
  8. Body armor. I am talking riot gear armor. Including a face mask. I am not leaving my body exposed to be an open target for attack.
  9. Utility belt, I am going to need to keep my hands free. I don’t have time to stop, take of my backpack and find what I need. A utility belt keeps everything I need right there.
  10. First aid kit. You never know when you are going to need it. In a horror movie my chances are pretty good that I or someone I am with is going to be injured and need medical assistance. It’s a horror movie given.
  11. Water tablets to decontaminate my water. I don’t want my skin to start to fall off because I drank the water.
  12. Holy water. Never know when I might walk into a bar of vampires.
  13. Portable charger with a hand crank and a satellite phone.
  14. Rope and tarp. Always useful. Especially when you have MacGyver skills.
  15. Dehydrated food. A two week supply. Only to eat in emergencies. I am going to have pillage for food. Seeds, just in case I am able to create my own safe haven.
  16. A dog. Not only for companionship but also protection. Dogs make great look outs. Yes, my dog could become a victim. A risk I am willing to take to survive.

There you have it. Drop me and my crate in any horror movie and watch me survive. Oh, and in case you are thinking, that I didn’t cover ghosts. I already have the skills to handle them. I’m the Warrens, the exorcist, Ghost Hunters and Ghost Adventurers rolled into one. I am the Laura Croft of horror movie survivors. I am ready and prepared for anything coming my way.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s