Nick Swardson (link to his funny or die page, just to give you taste of his comedy) has a joke about a picky old lady pushing food away and saying, “I don’t like it.” This is my family’s joke for me. Whenever we go out to eat, they push pretend plates of food away saying, in a little old lady voice, “I don’t like it.” Even my co-workers don’t ask me to order out with them anymore, because “I don’t eat anything.” I use to fight it. But I give in. Yes, I am a picky eater. Even before I became vegan, I was still extremely picky. I have never liked eggs, ew. Milk, ew. Meat, never really liked it, ate it because I was expected to, social norms and all. The meat that I dislike the most, dare I say it? The most beloved meat of all, bacon, ew! But wait it doesn’t stop there. I don’t like broccoli, ew. Cauliflower, ew. Beets, ew. Radishes, ew. Now you are probably wondering what do I eat? I love seitan. Ever had it? It is viral wheat gluten, sounds gross, but it’s good, trust me. And you can trust me, because I am picky, I don’t eat gross foods. Buffalo seitan is the best. If you haven’t had it find a local vegetarian/vegan restaurant and see if they have it. If you read me blog post The Meal, you know I love sweets. I am a sugar addict. So there you go, a glimpse into the world of a picky eater.
I hope this post made you laugh, I intended for it to be funny, to poke fun at myself, because you have to be able to laugh at yourself! You can find more picky eater stories on the Daily Post Mouths Wide Shut.